Well I'm glad. Appearantly I didn't make as much of an ass out of myself as I thought I did after talking to a reporter from the DailyOrange. Any way heres a link to the article that they wrote about Savage speaking last night
LINK
if it asks you to enter an email address, just use blah@blah.com
or for the lazy people check the extended entry.
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Though Dan Savage had only just met Justin Welch, he already had a recommendation for the junior public relations major - stop smoking.
"If you see him smoking anywhere on campus, you have my permission to slap him," Savage said.
But it's OK for Savage to tell Welch to improve his health - he's in the business of advice. Last night, America's most popular sex columnist dispensed his wisdom in Goldstein Auditorium, in a speech sponsored by University Union Speakers, the First Year Players, Asian Students in America and Pride Union. Savage, whose column, "Savage Love," appears in more than 70 newspapers worldwide, organized the evening as one big question and answer session, reading questions off note cards as well as taking audience queries.
Savage brought a homosexual perspective to the heterosexual relationship, saying that the main problem in most of the latter is the general lack of communication. He said a partner is no good if the couple can't discuss its sexual issues. People are worried about making themselves vulnerable to people they're having sex with, but that if they don't make it clear what their sexual needs are, they're never going to be satisfied.
"You have to make yourself vulnerable to someone you're having sex with to begin with," he said, "so you might as well go for the whole vulnerability piņata and just smack it down."
Sexual satisfaction is something that takes communication - and cooperation from both parties involved, Savage said. One woman questioned what to do about her boyfriend who refused to go down on her, to which Savage replied women have to insist because if no man ever performed cunnilingus, no woman would ever perform fellatio. He also said the any man who is homophobic is essentially misogynistic, since homophobes hate gay men for the fact that they act like women.
Savage does find it reasonable for women to take good care of their private areas, making sure things are trimmed and smell clean. He said there's no better person to tell you there's something stank going on than the person whose nose is wedged in there.
"Anybody who doesn't want to bury their face in your genitals is nobody you should date," he said.
As part of a gay couple, Savage said he and his partner have taken on more "traditional" family roles; he goes out on tours and writes his column while his boyfriend stays at home with the couple's 6-year-old son. Savage's boyfriend does his laundry, and when there's something to be killed in the basement, Savage takes care of it. He said this relationship model isn't necessarily heterosexual, and it's something that just happens when one becomes part of a family since it's hard to have a polyamorous family with kids.
"It's kind of funny because we can wear these roles sort of in a humorous way - wear them lightly, because they weren't imposed on us," he said. "It was a free choice for both of us."
While Savage isn't allowed to marry his boyfriend in his hometown of Seattle, the adoption of the couple's son is recognized. However, he said, if the couple were in Oklahoma, their son would be considered a ward of the state, since Oklahoma doesn't recognize gay adoptions, even those of other states. Savage feels gay people need marriage rights for this very reason, and said kids raised in same-sex households are healthier and better adjusted than those raised by straight couples.
"No gay couple ever got drunk one night and adopted," he said.
Savage also said he has no pity for evangelical Christians who complain about liberal city elitists. He said people in "red states" insult liberals for looking down their noses at conservatives and being unpatriotic, but the minute people in "blue states" tell rural people not to marry their sisters, it causes an uproar.
Savage himself caused somewhat of an uproar among audience members, who laughed wildly at his quips and anecdotes.
"He had a very frank and upfront way of speaking," said Maureen Watkins, a junior English and textual studies major.
"He was absolutely hilarious," said Henry Simonds, a graduate student studying computer science. "A lot of my friends read 'The Onion,' and I'm actually surprised more people weren't here."
Before the age of e-mail, Savage said he would receive letters explaining peoples' genital diseases in graphic detail. He would tell these readers to go to a doctor, since he's certainly not able to prescribe medicine through a newspaper. Now that the information age has arrived, however, Savage encounters another problem - digital photography.
While on a flight, Savage opened his downloaded e-mail and was horrified to discover a picture of a penis with a big sore on it. Since he was in coach, he was smashed up between two people, who were equally as shocked by the image on his screen - as was the flight attendant who thought he was looking at pornography.
"But no, I write a sex advice column," he said to the flight attendant. "It's in newspapers - people send me pictures of their sores."
Posted by henry at November 16, 2004 09:24 AM